What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a therapeutic approach associated with Sue Johnson that draws on attachment theory. It explores how people respond when connection feels uncertain: reaching for reassurance, becoming defensive, withdrawing or struggling to ask for support. In couples work, the aim is to understand these patterns and develop more responsive ways of relating.
Two related approaches use the abbreviation EFT. The names are easy to confuse, so it helps to ask which model a therapist means.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Developed initially for couples, this model also has individual and family adaptations. ICEEFT explains the model and its different forms.
Emotion-Focused Therapy
This experiential approach helps people notice, make sense of and work with emotional experience. It is associated with Leslie Greenberg. The International Society for Emotion Focused Therapy describes this approach.
Neither is EFT tapping. Emotional Freedom Techniques is a separate method that shares the acronym.
What Might EFT Sessions Involve?
In couples EFT, a therapist may slow down a recent disagreement, help each partner describe what happened emotionally, and support a different conversation about what each person needs. Couples EFT is often described in three stages. Individual therapy does not follow this partner-to-partner sequence.
1. Understand and de-escalate the cycle
Notice what sets off the interaction, how each person responds and how those responses affect the other. The therapist also considers whether joint work is appropriate.
2. Try different ways of reaching each other
Explore feelings and needs that are difficult to put into words, and practise expressing and responding to them with the therapist’s support.
3. Carry changes into everyday life
Revisit difficult situations and practise using new responses outside sessions. The pace depends on the people involved and what emerges in the work.
FICTIONAL EXAMPLE
The same silence, two different meanings
Alex asks, “Are you upset with me?” Sam is tired and says little. Alex asks again, more sharply; Sam goes quiet to avoid an argument. Alex reads the silence as rejection, while Sam feels that any answer will make things worse.
A therapist might ask Alex what Sam’s silence meant to them, and ask Sam what felt risky about answering. These questions explore the different meanings driving the exchange. They do not assume that every quiet moment signals rejection or that every argument has the same cause.
When Might EFT Be Worth Considering?
For couples
Repeated arguments, emotional distance, difficulty asking for support or trying to rebuild trust can be reasons to discuss EFT. Couples counselling also needs room for each person’s goals, including uncertainty about continuing the relationship.
For individuals
You can explore emotional difficulties without attending as a couple. If anxiety, depression or the effects of trauma bring you to therapy, ask how emotion-focused or attachment-focused work might fit an individual treatment plan. The work may include noticing feelings you tend to push aside, finding words for them and exploring what those feelings mean to you.
For family counselling, ask about the ages of those attending and the approach that fits the family’s concerns. Steyaert Counselling welcomes different couple and family structures and works with teens and adults; children’s therapy is not offered.
When joint sessions may be unsuitable
If you feel afraid to speak freely, experience controlling behaviour or worry about retaliation, seek individual advice before arranging a joint session. Understanding a relationship pattern does not excuse harmful behaviour.
What Does the Research Say About Benefits?
A 2024 meta-analysis of emotionally focused couple therapy combined 20 studies involving 332 couples and found improvements in relationship outcomes. The review included randomized trials, non-randomized studies and dissertations, so the findings do not all carry the same level of certainty.
This supports considering couples EFT, but it cannot predict whether a particular relationship will improve or stay together. Couples findings also do not establish the same results for individual or family therapy. Useful goals might include being able to name a need, hear a partner’s concern or pause a recurring argument.
Meet Your EFT Therapists in London and Burlington
Hailey Steyaert, M.A., Registered Psychotherapist
Hailey uses both Emotionally Focused Therapy and Emotion-Focused Therapy. A consultation is a chance to describe what you want help with and ask which approach she would recommend for you.
She works with teens, adults, couples and families. Appointments are available in person in Burlington, online across Ontario and by phone. Discuss which format suits the work you are considering.
Read Hailey’s profile or send her an inquiry.
Burlington office: 582 Guelph Line, Burlington, ON L7R 3M4. Free parking is available. Burlington location details.
Hannah Steyaert, M.A., Registered Psychotherapist
Hannah provides EFT in London. Her work also draws on psychodynamic and attachment-based approaches. You can discuss how EFT might fit the concerns you want to work on.
She works with teens, adults, couples and families. Appointments are available in person in London, online across Ontario and by phone.
Read Hannah’s profile or send her an inquiry.
London office: 659 Central Avenue, Suite 15, London, ON N5W 3P7. Free parking is available. London location details.
Fees and Practical Details
Individual sessions with Hannah or Hailey are $165 CAD for 50 minutes. The free consultation is a 10-minute phone call. For couples and family appointments, check the fees and session lengths for your chosen therapist on the therapy costs page or in the booking system.
Insurance coverage depends on your plan’s benefits for Registered Psychotherapists. Receipts are available for reimbursement; check with your insurer before booking. The cancellation policy requires 48 hours’ notice.
Questions About Starting EFT
Talk About Whether EFT Fits Your Needs
Book a free 10-minute consultation with Hannah or Hailey to ask about EFT. You might ask which model your therapist would suggest, how they approach difficult conversations and how you would review whether therapy is helping.
Have a question, or cannot find a suitable time? Use the inquiry form below to ask about your options. Sending this form does not reserve an appointment. A brief message about what you are looking for is enough; you do not need to include a detailed personal history.