What Is Compassion-Focused Therapy?
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is an approach developed by psychologist Paul Gilbert. It explores shame and self-criticism, and helps people develop compassion for themselves and others. The Compassionate Mind Foundation explains the background to the model.
CFT uses a framework of three interacting emotional systems: responding to threat, pursuing goals, and experiencing soothing or connection. For example, a setback might bring fear of judgment, pressure to work harder and difficulty accepting reassurance. The framework offers a way to explore these responses.
The work considers both what you say to yourself and how that response feels. Knowing that a mistake is understandable may not stop you feeling ashamed. That gap between understanding and feeling is relevant to a conversation about CFT.
MAKING SENSE OF COMPASSION
Compassion can include honesty and responsibility
Responding compassionately can mean acknowledging a mistake, making a repair or setting a needed boundary. The aim is to respond to difficulty in a way that helps, while reducing the extra hurt of harsh self-judgment.
Compassion also leaves room for anger, limits and action. You can care about your distress while deciding that something needs to change.
WAYS TO PRACTISE COMPASSION
What Can CFT Involve?
Your therapist may draw on different exercises depending on your goals and comfort level. These are examples of CFT practices, not a fixed sequence or a checklist you need to complete.
01
Noticing Self-Criticism
Recognize the words, tone and expectations you direct at yourself, especially when something goes wrong or you feel judged.
02
Soothing Rhythm Breathing
Explore a gentle breathing rhythm with your therapist and notice how it feels. An exercise can be adjusted if it is uncomfortable.
03
Compassionate Imagery
Practise imagining qualities such as warmth, wisdom and steadiness, and explore how you might bring those qualities to a difficult moment.
04
A More Supportive Response
Consider what an honest, understanding response to your situation could sound like. This may involve compassionate writing or practising a different way of speaking to yourself.
You can learn more about the model and its practices in Paul Gilbert’s introduction to CFT (PDF).
WHAT THE WORK MAY LOOK LIKE
How CFT Can Be Used in Individual Therapy
CFT can involve conversation, reflection and practical exercises. The examples below show possible areas of work; your therapist can discuss which are relevant to you.
01
Understand the Pattern
Explore a recent setback: what happened, what you felt, what you said to yourself and what followed. Did criticism help you address the problem, or leave you avoiding it or replaying it?
02
Practise a Response
Consider a response that acknowledges the difficulty and supports a useful next step. The wording needs to be credible to you; overly positive statements may not fit what you are experiencing.
03
Try, Review and Adjust
Discuss what happened when you tried a different response. You might notice whether you could address a mistake, accept help or return to an activity. Difficulty with a practice is useful information to bring back.
A FICTIONAL EVERYDAY EXAMPLE
An email mistake becomes a judgment about you
Imagine noticing an error in an email. “I sent the wrong attachment” describes the event. “I always ruin things” turns it into a judgment about you. A compassionate response might be: “I am embarrassed, and I can send the correct version.”
The error still needs attention. The useful distinction is between taking a corrective action and repeatedly attacking yourself. You could bring a similar everyday example to a session without needing to explain your whole history at once.
WHEN CFT MAY BE USEFUL
Is CFT Worth Exploring?
CFT may be worth discussing when shame or self-criticism is a significant part of your difficulty. If your main concern is anxiety or stress, it can help to begin with that concern and consider the role self-criticism plays. CFT may form part of a broader individual therapy plan.
A 2025 review of 21 studies in adult clinical populations found promising changes in self-compassion and self-criticism. Evidence for some forms of shame and compassion in relationships was less consistent.
Most interventions in that review were group-based, and studies often had small samples, limited comparison groups and little follow-up. The findings cannot tell you how quickly individual therapy will help or whether CFT is the best fit for you. A separate meta-analysis also called for more controlled research.
You might want to explore:
Harsh self-talk
Replaying mistakes or dismissing your efforts.
Shame and self-blame
Feeling that a difficult experience says something negative about your worth.
Perfectionism and pressure
Struggling to rest or accept that something can be good enough.
Receiving support
Finding kindness or reassurance hard to trust.
RELATED APPROACHES
How CFT Relates to CBT and DBT
You do not need to choose a model before seeking help. These descriptions suggest what to ask about; they are not a test for deciding which treatment you need.
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)
A useful question to bring: “I can see that my expectations are harsh, but I still feel ashamed. Could CFT help us explore that?” CFT gives particular attention to self-criticism and the experience of compassion.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT examines relationships among thoughts, feelings and behaviours. You might ask how it could help with a specific pattern of worry or avoidance. Learn more about CBT.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
DBT combines acceptance and change, including skills for responding to intense emotions and relationship difficulties. Ask which elements a therapist offers. Read about DBT and DBT-informed work.
A Personalized Treatment Plan
Describe what happens in a difficult moment and what you want to be different. Your therapist can discuss relevant options from the approaches available at Steyaert Counselling.
WHEN COMPASSION IS DIFFICULT
What If Self-Compassion Feels Out of Reach?
Difficulty receiving or practising compassion is part of what CFT explores. The Compassionate Mind Foundation describes fears, blocks and resistance to compassion. You can bring these reactions into the conversation.
“Self-criticism keeps me motivated”
You may worry that easing up will mean letting things slip. A useful starting question is what criticism helps you do, and what it costs you. Compassion can include effort, responsibility and making a repair.
“Kind words feel fake”
You do not have to pretend to believe a reassuring statement. Tell your therapist which words feel unconvincing. A more concrete starting point might be naming what is difficult and what help you need.
“An exercise feels uncomfortable”
If a breathing or imagery exercise brings distress or feels unhelpful, you can pause and say so. Ask what the exercise is intended to help with and whether another way of exploring that goal is available.
“I am failing at compassion too”
Trying to do an exercise perfectly can become another source of pressure. You can discuss that pressure itself, including whether a practice needs to be smaller, different or set aside for now.
CFT AT STEYAERT COUNSELLING
Meet the Therapists
Both Hannah and Hailey offer compassion-focused therapy. Each is a Registered Psychotherapist with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. Choose the location or therapist that feels like the right starting point.
LONDON & ONLINE ONTARIO
Hannah Steyaert, M.A., RP
Hannah offers CFT in London and remotely across Ontario.
Her primary approach is psychodynamic therapy. Her interests include anxiety, stress and relationship patterns, particularly among young adults. She can discuss how CFT may fit your goals.
659 Central Ave, Suite 15, London, ON N5W 3P7
Free parking · 226-970-2861
BURLINGTON & ONLINE ONTARIO
Hailey Steyaert, M.A., RP
Hailey offers CFT in Burlington and remotely across Ontario.
Her work emphasizes individual counselling, anxiety and trauma. She has specialized training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and trauma-focused therapy, and can discuss how CFT may support the work.
582 Guelph Line, Burlington, ON L7R 3M4
Free parking · 647-970-1790
Fees and Appointment Options
Individual therapy is $165 CAD for 50 minutes. The initial 10-minute consultation is free. We provide receipts for insurance reimbursement; coverage depends on your plan. See current fees and policies, including the 48-hour cancellation notice requirement.
Both therapists offer phone appointments and online therapy across Ontario. Learn more about the London office or Burlington office.
COMMON QUESTIONS
Frequently Asked Questions About CFT
These questions cover starting CFT, noticing change and fitting the work around your needs.
A SIMPLE NEXT STEP
Book a Free 10-Minute Consultation
A free 10-minute consultation is a chance to briefly describe your concern and ask about fit. It is separate from a paid therapy session. You can start with one everyday example or a question about how the therapist works.
Questions You Can Bring to a Consultation
You could ask: “How do you use CFT when self-kindness feels uncomfortable?” or “How would we decide whether this approach fits what I am struggling with?”
It can also help to name one practical goal, such as spending less of your evening replaying a mistake. Choose the question that matters most to you; you do not need to prepare a full account of your experiences.
Prefer to call? London and general inquiries: 226-970-2861 | Burlington: 647-970-1790
Have a Question Before You Book?
Use the form below if you are unsure which therapist or location to choose. You do not need to include a detailed clinical history. Sending an inquiry does not reserve an appointment.
FURTHER READING
Reliable CFT Resources
For an introduction to compassion-focused therapy, visit the Compassionate Mind Foundation. The research reviews below discuss the findings and limitations of studies on self-criticism and compassion.
Compassionate Mind Foundation · 2025 systematic review of adult clinical studies · meta-analysis of CFT studies